TO: ovarian cancer
FROM: me
“Hate” is such a polite word. I detest you. I despise
you. Yet even those verbs are insufficient.
You took Mom. She was easy pickins’. Sixty-eight years old, 125
pounds, a long-time smoker, not exactly a prize fighter. So sinister, creeping
around through fallopian tubes, virtually undetected, multiplying silently until you outnumbered healthy cells, leaving organs shell-shocked.
Then you took Bricie. She fought you though. For five
grueling years she railed against you. But in the end, you wore her out, you
took her down. You robbed two incredible kids of a loving mom--at 5 and 9 years old! A good man of his devoted
partner, wife.
And then you went after my friend Cindy. Bad choice. You shouldn’t have
messed with Cindy. You didn’t know that she has friends far and wide who have
her back, ready to support her IF she faltered. And you didn’t count on her
friend Jana, whose profession was to eradicate you and your filthy gang from
the women you target. You didn’t plan on Jana [aka "the body guard"] accompanying her to every single appointment
just to ensure that your bags were packed and that you had checked out
permanently, a one-way ticket.
You didn’t count on Cindy’s tenacity and grit. Well, she
won!
She kicked
your sneaky little ass.
So slink off. And leave me and my friends alone! F o r e v e r!
Most sincerely,
Me
So, I like the paragraph about my mom, but I need better words to describe how I feel about O.C. taking my 43 y.o. sister-in-law. Please give feedback for the whole thing: what you think works and what doesn't.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Wow! So...this is awesome! It is obviously very emotional and powerful. I also love the format....an email to ovarian cancer. Very creative. I am honestly not sure about how you could better describe such a tragic event. It does seem, however that the line "You robbed two kids of a loving mom. A good man of his devoted partner, wife" needs to flow with a third clause...Like maybe "You robbed two kids of a loving mom. A good man his devoted partner. A _______ his/her ________. " But seriously...I think this is my favorite piece that you have written. LOVE IT!!
ReplyDeleteWow! So...this is awesome! It is obviously very emotional and powerful. I also love the format....an email to ovarian cancer. Very creative. I am honestly not sure about how you could better describe such a tragic event. It does seem, however that the line "You robbed two kids of a loving mom. A good man of his devoted partner, wife" needs to flow with a third clause...Like maybe "You robbed two kids of a loving mom. A good man his devoted partner. A _______ his/her ________. " But seriously...I think this is my favorite piece that you have written. LOVE IT!!
ReplyDeleteBetsy,
ReplyDeleteBefore I give any feed back I just need to say that this piece made me cry. I think everyone has been touched by cancer in some way.
I think that the format for addressing cancer in a letter was just the right touch to get the point across. I appreciate that you were very honest and poignant about convey the message and your emotions. I love your opening line “Hate” is such a polite word. I detest you. I despise you. Yet even those verbs are insufficient." It hooked me right away. I agree with Angelene that the line "You robbed two kids of a loving mom. A good man of his devoted partner, wife" does quiet flow like the rest of your poem. Maybe you could say something like "You robbed two kids of a loving mother, a good man of his devoted partner, and the world of a ______________ woman. Echoing what Angelene said this is definitely my favorite piece that you have written. It was very raw and revealing (which is part of what I love about it).
Hey Betsy!
ReplyDeleteWay to write with some passion! I can tell you're writing from a place of frustration and pissed off happiness. I wish more people would write like this when they have something on their minds. Next time like the F-bomb fly! It is Cancer we're talking about here! haha. But in all seriousness, I'm sorry for those you know that are not here anymore. My family has gone through some similar stuff, it's never a great thing to experience. Sometimes I wish we could tell of diseases! Thanks for sharing!
Cody
This is so clever and probably cathartic. There must be something about personifying something as destructive and careless as cancer. Making it semi-human makes it vulnerable and easier to blame. Hooray for her success!!!
ReplyDelete